Saturday, 27 March 2010

(i lied)

I am making a lot of mistakes recently, I'm not going to bore you with them cause I know people actually read my blog now and I doubt any of you want to hear about the dull goings on of my life. Anywho, it's putting me in a bad mood. I don't know where I'm with this but since I've got home my time has consisted of bad naps, worse movies and cold food. The next post will be more...cheery. Here's a nice picture.

Friday, 26 March 2010

Thursday, 25 March 2010

this doesn't warrant a title

You know they say you should write when you feel you're at the height of your emotions? Yeah, well...I WANT TO SMASH YOUR FUGLY HEAD IN WITH A BAT. What right do you think you have to speak about me in such a way? I guess karma had a little to do with it but you have never been nice to me so I do not care what I say about you. I have been perfectly fake to your face therefore you have no reason to act like such a child about things. Oh and also, just because I have to give up some of my controlling behaviour does that mean you have to take on that role? Stop thinking you have the upper hand, you will never get the upper hand when it comes to our relationship so stop kidding yourself that it will. I AM SO ANNOYED AT WAY TOO MANY THINGS. Oh yeah and you - let me fucking breathe would you? I'm suffocating here. You couldn't give two shits about anything to do with me so I don't think you're even worth mentioning. And the person who lies to me constantly? Tell me what to do because I'm really at a loss as to whether I can keep you close or not. You guys, I know you talk about me constantly behind my back and you know I couldn't care less about it, so go ahead and do it to my face. Then at least you know it'll cause some damage. And you. Oh god, you. Thank you for leaving me like this. One less burden for you to fucking hold. FUCK. YOU.

Sunday, 21 March 2010

This is incredible, listen to it before you go to bed tonight. I'd like to believe the boy who showed me this meant every word of this song. Even though he didn't.


I watched 500 Days of Summer again the other evening, and I know it's meant to make you believe in love and all that stuff but it really does the opposite to me. I really am starting to lose faith in the whole 'love' idea. I mean, yes you can have a strong attachment to someone, but really when it comes down to it it's just sex and security, right? If you're seeing someone and not being intimate with them and you're not official, can you fall in love with them? Love is mostly the basics dressed in pretty decorations and sweet things to draw you in, and once your in, you just get comfortable. I have yet to see anyone truely in love. Just, comfortable.

And it's making me think I don't ever want to be comfortable. I don't want to be with someone because it makes me feel safe. I want the love they show us in films because that seems a hell of a lot more fun then feeling entirely vulnerable.

I'm going to go dye my hair, goodnight cyber world.


This weekend has been a nice weekend. All of the March's are back in one place, and it was nice as we felt like a real family again. Not a fragmented one who only saw eachother on weekends. I bought some new clothes and hair dye, I need to feel fresh every now and again. This is going to be a complete unpoetic and empty post because it seems that I have forgotten how to write anything remotely meaningful. I just wanted to let you guys know that I've had a nice weekend, and I haven't been apart from my family for the majority of it. Who knew having fun could be done without spending every waking second with your friends? Don't take offence, I do love you guys obviously and I would probably be a weird bag lady by now without you guys but still, MARCHLIFE FOR LIFE. I guess that's it. Sorry if after reading this you felt like you've wasted valuable seconds, or minutes if you're a slow reader, off of your life.


Friday, 19 March 2010

A disgarded draft I wish I'd never written.

i used to fear you'll be the only one who will never truely find yourself, you'll shatter into no more than a few peices and never find any of them again. you will have so many faces you will forget which one i liked the most. i tried to save you once and twice and thrice and never. soon you won't be able to fill my sentences anymore. i can't see you under all that make up. i can't see you anymore. i can't like you. you are so broken to everyone . you're so dead.

i now fear i will never be able to erase you, or the fact i couldn't save you from my memory.

i hate you for this.

Alas, she's returned.

It's okay kids, I've returned. For the second time. The reason for this is due to an imploding chest, a melting brain and a disintegrating body I have reached the height of bordem, and blogging and The Sims 3 are the only two past times that are enticing me. I would rant about something or other but honestly right now nothing is getting on my nerves, apart from the lack of food in this bloody house and how tidy my room is. In comparison to my other blog, which is possibly the most pretentious thing I've ever encountered, this blog is going to stay very much the same; this is because a bit of normalcy is going to do me some good. How are we today? Bring me some petit filous and babybels and we can be friends.