Friday, 23 April 2010


none of you read this so here's a rant. i literally feel sick with pain. and it fucking frustrates me that people think that i'm in the wrong yet don't have the nerve to say it to my face. yes, i understand if you think what i'm doing is wrong but forgive me if i'm just trying to be myself. i cannot please everyone. so if any of you have any smarter ideas, please, throw them my way because i'm obviously fucking up big time if you all feel it's okay to talk about me so much behind my back.

i am so angry, so embarrassed, so guilty and so fucking lonely. i thought i'd be making myself happier by taking that action when all it has done is rip my fucking life apart.

this will be deleted in due course but i have no one to talk to about this who genuinely cares, so i'm blogging it.

Today has been a disgusting day.

And I would like to do a big fat apology to everyone I've hurt, as that seems to be a lot. But don't worry I have certainly got a very deflated ego and a terrible sense of guilt that will not be forgotten for a while.

I don't know what else to say.

Saturday, 17 April 2010

What happens when you run out of things to talk about?

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Thursday, 8 April 2010

no title for today

Today felt as if someone taken every organ of mine out of my body, put them in a blender, then made me watch as they poured the remains down a drain.

I am now officialy cold and empty. Well done.

Friday, 2 April 2010

What the devil?

So I am possibly still in bed and I don't have the energy to get up, which sucks cause I think I actually need to do stuff today. I'm excited for this Easter, and especially tomorrow and I need a drink of water. Here's a couple of things I thought you'd like to know:

- I spend an hour the other evening watching Friends outakes and have never laughed so much in my life.

- I'm slowly but surely dragging myself out of a rut and it's feeling good.

- I have stopped eating as many beans.

- Poopy.

- Oh yeah, and...

Good day.