tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66417707102177357312024-03-14T06:05:24.439+00:00Paris XVIAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.comBlogger81125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-2608259503740070182011-04-19T20:54:00.002+01:002011-04-19T20:58:47.631+01:00i can't help but like i don't deserve any of these things that are happening to me. i'm not a good person, i don't have the ability to make anything of myself, i am entirely talentless and <strong>i don't think i can do this.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />i want to go back to last year, where even though the majority of people i was friends with gave two shits about my well being, i was still friends with them and surrounded by people constantly and happy (ish)<br /><br />i am sick to death of forcing my best friend to hang out with me when she's obviously got better things to do, cause i need to be around someone that is not my mother.<br /><br />this is so pathetic i'm actually cringing at myself uhhhhhhhhAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-15798812681163987322011-03-15T00:23:00.001+00:002011-03-15T00:23:43.585+00:00demons<div class="caption" style="margin-top: 0px;"> <p>i have a few demons</p> <p>wrapped tightly in my insecurities</p> <p>disguised by the use</p> <p>of wit and false charm</p> <p>cleverly embedded in</p> <p>the three years of fighting them</p> <p>i lay down</p> <p>and play with my hands</p> <p>and hair</p> <p>to wish that my hands were your hands tonight</p> <p>i am young</p> <p><em>and i fear that life will have no value</em></p> <p><em>without you in it</em></p> <p>my only company will be my demons</p> <p>coated in denial</p> <p>they play tauntingly</p> <p>with my hands and hair</p> <p>to wish that their hands were your hands tonight</p> <p><strong>their hands are your hands tonight</strong></p> </div>Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-35081155133151064832010-11-21T23:06:00.000+00:002010-11-21T23:07:12.326+00:00it's alright, i didn't need to breathe anyway. your sheer ignorance and immature mind has forced me to feel like i'm liking something that shouldn't even exist. you have hurt me and you don't know anything about me fuck i don't even know anything about you. do i even care about you? i dont think i do. i think i just want to be loved so badly i will jump at the chance for any form of affection but i can't help but feel used; i feel as dirty as your head. i don't feel like a person anymore hell i don't think i even classify as one. you're right i am a robot except i do have feelings and you tore them to fucking shreds without even realizing. am i a monster? am i something out of a novel? have i been torn and ripped apart? am i that worthless? what is left of me now? bones and a mess of red hair. bones. i don't even think i have a heart left. i don't even understand how i'm still breathing. it's alright, i didn't need to breathe anyway.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-83221614886032632992010-10-10T17:41:00.003+01:002010-10-10T17:49:23.212+01:00I'M POSTING THIS HEREcause i just found this written down somewhere in one of my books and well, i want her to see it.<br /><br />"why are you such a good person? fuck you just there and listened every time i was being a self indulgent cunt and you were so happy to let me go on and on. the thing is i knew you understood what ever i said, cause i swear you knew me way better than i ever could. we both know i pushed you away every chance i could but you stayed and you never left. you were, sorry i mean are, the only person that has stuck around. you accept me (the jumble of faults that i am) and still love me anyway. i can't believe i have taken you for granted for so long? fuck, why did you let me take you for granted so much?"<br /><br />anyway, i know you read this blog and i just want you to know that i miss you and love you and i will thank you one day. when i have enough balls to.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-13112140007379836482010-09-22T01:12:00.001+01:002010-09-22T01:12:48.467+01:00DEATHis something i wish i never have to deal with again.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-46680993587492731322010-09-21T22:56:00.000+01:002010-09-21T22:57:35.069+01:00I'M GONNA WATCH SEX AND THE CITY.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TJkqLeMSrZI/AAAAAAAAAFg/1osAAkm9BQ0/s1600/gone.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TJkqLeMSrZI/AAAAAAAAAFg/1osAAkm9BQ0/s320/gone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5519489194890800530" border="0" /></a><br /><br />i'll leave you with thisAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-28291761280760282222010-09-19T14:09:00.000+01:002010-09-19T14:10:31.369+01:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TJYLs2mZxHI/AAAAAAAAAFY/QDAi7JGqjOA/s1600/deardad.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 207px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TJYLs2mZxHI/AAAAAAAAAFY/QDAi7JGqjOA/s320/deardad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518611258587858034" border="0" /></a><br /><br />that's all for today.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-63718574300797989532010-09-15T23:10:00.000+01:002010-09-15T23:11:08.448+01:00QUESTIONwhy don't people ever turn out how you want them to?Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-18786052030605798032010-09-06T21:24:00.001+01:002010-09-06T21:25:43.990+01:00DEAR FATE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TIVOCqYXJZI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/0q7rNhyBkP4/s1600/tumblr_l5k6bjL8ih1qbjt8vo1_500_large.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 247px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TIVOCqYXJZI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/0q7rNhyBkP4/s320/tumblr_l5k6bjL8ih1qbjt8vo1_500_large.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513899126428214674" border="0" /></a><br /><br />i'm leaving all of this in your capable hands this timeAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-6778771321628308002010-09-06T20:39:00.000+01:002010-09-06T20:42:19.346+01:00DUDEHere's a list of things I'm liking in my life:<br /><br />- Juliet Price and Hannah Mcmillan pretty much living at my house.<br />- Catching up with old friends<br />- Bananas and transformers<br />- These college necklace things we've got going on<br />- My lack of interest in relationships<br />- My teddy bear<br />- My hair (it's gone fantastically gingerish)<br />- And finally, sex and the city.<br /><br />there's a much bigger list of bad things but i don't think i should look at them because THAT'S WHAT MAKES PEOPLE SAD. and i don't wanna be one of those sad kids who indulge in their own self repulsion thank you very much.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-67880074392910782822010-09-05T17:57:00.002+01:002010-09-05T17:58:38.277+01:00DEAR COLLEGE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TIPMMUWNm7I/AAAAAAAAAFI/F-13nZ9WE5Q/s1600/100905-175508.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TIPMMUWNm7I/AAAAAAAAAFI/F-13nZ9WE5Q/s320/100905-175508.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513474880823991218" border="0" /></a>Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-7454660168620917992010-09-03T23:29:00.003+01:002010-09-03T23:31:17.745+01:00kayso i have a lump in my throat and it won't go. i just realised that i will not see you ever again and, well, fuck, basically.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L1fgmPsQKPw?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L1fgmPsQKPw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-49696247621927389272010-08-27T16:04:00.000+01:002010-08-27T16:05:14.672+01:00OLD SKOOL<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LaKF9FjoOB8?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LaKF9FjoOB8?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />lolol.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-16890789551777238972010-08-27T15:49:00.002+01:002010-08-27T15:56:09.553+01:00WAA WAA WAAPeople moan about how shit their lives are a hell of a lot, don't they? Like, when you're chatting to someone you either are hearing about their 'emotional baggage' or about how awful their lives are at that particular moment because the toast burnt that morning and it started raining at the bus stop. It honestly bores the shit out of me. I want to have a conversation with someone about something that's entirely ridiculous, or captivating, or just plain bullshit. I don't know. I'm waiting for someone to show me that they're worth me changing for, I guess.<br /><br />P.S srsly stop wearing so much topshop you look like kate gash and that's never a good thingAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-64942810469924176672010-08-26T17:19:00.003+01:002010-08-26T17:26:28.717+01:00HELLO MY ROSEBUDS<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/THaVeV2CzNI/AAAAAAAAAEY/WWLRINNOlMg/s1600/tumblr_l50d24mutq1qat4y0o1_500_large.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/THaVeV2CzNI/AAAAAAAAAEY/WWLRINNOlMg/s400/tumblr_l50d24mutq1qat4y0o1_500_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5509755542626815186" border="0" /></a><br /><br />So I've deleted tumblr and decided to come crawling back to blogger - tumblr was over crowded and full of people that simply bored me. So it's back to writing meaningless and uneducated rants and hoping that somebody, somewhere, agrees with what I say.<br /><br />I've just been on holiday to Deia, and it was absolutely incredible. I've been having a lot of these moments recently, where I'm just estatically happy with the people I'm with the and the places I am and I compare it back to the dull days of Winchester and have realised that I cannot wait to get out.<br /><br />But this proposes a problem; just exactly how am I meant to get out? This is where actually doing my college work comes in, stopping smoking, one night out a week, THE LOT. I've finally sorted out my priorities - and hopefully this way I won't be such a royal fuck up within the social aspect of my life. Fingers crossed, eh?<br /><br />So if you're one of the few that don't hate me at this point of my life, hello and welcome to me. I'm off to go pee and various other things, I may have a bath but that's pushing it. I still have the spanish and aeroplane smell on me. Beautiful. By the way when I travel the world Deia is going to be my first stop, come with me?Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-69647363763133096532010-06-19T16:17:00.001+01:002010-06-19T16:20:58.044+01:00if you're bored alreadyjust say, so i can stop feeling like such a fucking inconvenience.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:78%;" >(i know i'm not what you signed up for)</span>Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-39840397908508158322010-06-16T00:01:00.000+01:002010-06-16T00:02:46.832+01:00NO ONE WILL BREAK MY HEART<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBgGiw8tPPI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/8wEVmgBDE50/s1600/tumblr_l12b8dWgEf1qb712eo1_400_large.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 363px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBgGiw8tPPI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/8wEVmgBDE50/s400/tumblr_l12b8dWgEf1qb712eo1_400_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483139740648422642" border="0" /></a>Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-90254801019421049912010-06-14T00:21:00.002+01:002010-06-14T00:21:38.587+01:00so you sit up in bed and hear nothing but rainand think about how your heart's wasting oxygenAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-68382443829489716182010-06-13T22:10:00.002+01:002010-06-13T22:13:24.758+01:00oh, and also<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBVJ6TZZNCI/AAAAAAAAAEI/1eg4hIXdeQU/s1600/sorry1.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 281px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBVJ6TZZNCI/AAAAAAAAAEI/1eg4hIXdeQU/s400/sorry1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482369387381470242" border="0" /></a><br /><br />if i could blow out a candle and make one wish, it would be for us to be okay again. i really am truly sorry for all of my actions, my mistakes, my leading you on, and most of all making you feel something i promised myself i wouldn't let anyone ever have to feel. you need to realise this, before any real friendship can be reformed. i hope to god you read this and forgive me. but don't worry, i'm not expecting you to forget.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-14130480015426145272010-06-13T21:59:00.004+01:002010-06-13T22:10:01.456+01:00HERE'S TO NEW BEGINNINGSyes, it seems like i am having a new beginning ever hour these days, but this time it is for real. i am entirely happy, in myself. i don't know where i am going and this is one of the first times i've been okay with that fact, not having a plan i think is going to be good for me. i've realised a few things the past couple of months.<br /><br />1. i've realised that no one is really original with their own thoughts or feelings, every one is just human and following some form of trend or something of the sort. so it's time for me to stop building people up into people they are not - it only destroys the friendships i make.<br /><br />2. i have realised i am taking things way too seriously, and investing too much into things that normally wouldn't take a second thought. i still want to care about things obviously, but sometimes it is good caring a little less.<br /><br />3. i am all too aware of peoples faults as well as my own. time to start focusing on the positive aspects of life. like tea, or weekends like this.<br /><br />4. i've been neglecting the friends that are the ones who are going to be there when it comes down to it. i am sorry for that, as of now i am going to be making more effort. i just needed to sort out my head before i let you guys have a look in.<br /><br />5. i need to start applying myself, if i want to get anywhere only i can make that happen - it's time to start networking and understanding that i can actually do things. ye of little faith.<br /><br />this time next year i hope to be getting far with everything, have good grades and good attendance, solid friendships and feel as happy as i do now. the start of A2 = the new beginning we've all been craving.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBVI6HE6u1I/AAAAAAAAAEA/0i8ZO2nrFuA/s1600/tumblr_l354yc5KsJ1qa0na7o1_400_large.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 167px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBVI6HE6u1I/AAAAAAAAAEA/0i8ZO2nrFuA/s400/tumblr_l354yc5KsJ1qa0na7o1_400_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482368284562733906" border="0" /></a>Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-85666934003064138762010-06-11T13:24:00.002+01:002010-06-11T13:24:46.032+01:00dear you, you whore<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBIrBKK2sFI/AAAAAAAAAD4/00I48HG0Twk/s1600/20090106044705.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 316px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBIrBKK2sFI/AAAAAAAAAD4/00I48HG0Twk/s400/20090106044705.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481490995373060178" border="0" /></a>Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-60081284028820931782010-06-10T21:48:00.001+01:002010-06-10T21:50:16.264+01:00I HAVE DONE NOTHING AT ALL TODAY<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBFP0mQGDVI/AAAAAAAAADw/uDcwX2cjS5A/s1600/thursday.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 322px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBFP0mQGDVI/AAAAAAAAADw/uDcwX2cjS5A/s400/thursday.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481249986526448978" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Could somebody give me a decent film to watch? I don't know what to do with myself tonight. I'm quite lonely.Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-10082559982673828822010-06-09T22:40:00.003+01:002010-06-09T22:52:22.920+01:00ACTUALLY, FUCK THAT<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBANDsrNVLI/AAAAAAAAADo/DP_nWcosZ3c/s1600/tumblr_kw609egneR1qa9u6ko1_500_large.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gsRvPBP0T6U/TBANDsrNVLI/AAAAAAAAADo/DP_nWcosZ3c/s400/tumblr_kw609egneR1qa9u6ko1_500_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480895103693051058" border="0" /></a><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><br /><br />i've</span> decided i actually like this one so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">i'm</span> staying. i just watched the first episode of the last big brother (i know <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i'm</span> so mainstream it hurts), and i only just realised it abolished all my future dreams of going on that show. i am deeply upset. so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">i'm</span> compensating my lack of appearance on a reality <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">tv</span> show with eating mini rolls. i kinda prefer the mini rolls.<br /><br />anyway, today i have decided <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">i've</span> really missed having a life. even though i would prefer a life without certain aspects involved in it, but hey, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">beggers</span> can't be choosers right? i have realised every body has got themselves into a rut recently and it's bloody well stupid - people are worried because we all have no fucking direction at the moment but do you know what? I DON'T CARE. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">i'm</span> sick to the back AND front teeth of thinking about my 'future' and 'where <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">i'm</span> going'. right now, quite frankly, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">i'd</span> be happy to sit here for the rest of my life pigging out on junk food and tea.<br /><br />so basically this is a message to all the people who are losing themselves right now: be normal, stop fucking up, and realise i love you, and we need to all buck our ideas up if we're going to get through the next year happy. so stop wallowing in your own self pity, grow some hefty balls AND MAN THE FUCK UP!<br /><br />WHO'S WITH ME?<br /><br />p.s i don't like your blogAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-50521694208113246172010-06-07T23:19:00.001+01:002010-06-07T23:19:58.215+01:00BYE BYE FOR A WHILEi'm going to find something to fulfill my life and that be not a blog, sozza guys. deleted my tumblr too. BYEEEEEEEEAlex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6641770710217735731.post-57139350377484827142010-06-06T17:29:00.001+01:002010-06-06T17:29:19.428+01:00when is anything ever enough<p>if we talk in circles it will be around the almost truth</p><p>if we talk anymore we will have worn out our tongues</p><p>if we die tonight we would die in peace</p><p>or would it just be a truce from that war you're always fighting?</p><p>it'll never be resolved. i will never love you back.</p><p>but if we pretend that we love each other the same amount</p><p>and if we pretend that the past doesn't matter</p><p>and we pretend you're a good person</p><p>if we can go on with our lives being okay with pretending</p><p><br /></p>that's enough, right?Alex Marchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13455408424215260489noreply@blogger.com0