Saturday, 19 June 2010

if you're bored already

just say, so i can stop feeling like such a fucking inconvenience.

(i know i'm not what you signed up for)

Monday, 14 June 2010

so you sit up in bed and hear nothing but rain

and think about how your heart's wasting oxygen

Sunday, 13 June 2010

oh, and also

if i could blow out a candle and make one wish, it would be for us to be okay again. i really am truly sorry for all of my actions, my mistakes, my leading you on, and most of all making you feel something i promised myself i wouldn't let anyone ever have to feel. you need to realise this, before any real friendship can be reformed. i hope to god you read this and forgive me. but don't worry, i'm not expecting you to forget.


yes, it seems like i am having a new beginning ever hour these days, but this time it is for real. i am entirely happy, in myself. i don't know where i am going and this is one of the first times i've been okay with that fact, not having a plan i think is going to be good for me. i've realised a few things the past couple of months.

1. i've realised that no one is really original with their own thoughts or feelings, every one is just human and following some form of trend or something of the sort. so it's time for me to stop building people up into people they are not - it only destroys the friendships i make.

2. i have realised i am taking things way too seriously, and investing too much into things that normally wouldn't take a second thought. i still want to care about things obviously, but sometimes it is good caring a little less.

3. i am all too aware of peoples faults as well as my own. time to start focusing on the positive aspects of life. like tea, or weekends like this.

4. i've been neglecting the friends that are the ones who are going to be there when it comes down to it. i am sorry for that, as of now i am going to be making more effort. i just needed to sort out my head before i let you guys have a look in.

5. i need to start applying myself, if i want to get anywhere only i can make that happen - it's time to start networking and understanding that i can actually do things. ye of little faith.

this time next year i hope to be getting far with everything, have good grades and good attendance, solid friendships and feel as happy as i do now. the start of A2 = the new beginning we've all been craving.

Friday, 11 June 2010

Thursday, 10 June 2010


Could somebody give me a decent film to watch? I don't know what to do with myself tonight. I'm quite lonely.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010


decided i actually like this one so i'm staying. i just watched the first episode of the last big brother (i know i'm so mainstream it hurts), and i only just realised it abolished all my future dreams of going on that show. i am deeply upset. so i'm compensating my lack of appearance on a reality tv show with eating mini rolls. i kinda prefer the mini rolls.

anyway, today i have decided i've really missed having a life. even though i would prefer a life without certain aspects involved in it, but hey, beggers can't be choosers right? i have realised every body has got themselves into a rut recently and it's bloody well stupid - people are worried because we all have no fucking direction at the moment but do you know what? I DON'T CARE. i'm sick to the back AND front teeth of thinking about my 'future' and 'where i'm going'. right now, quite frankly, i'd be happy to sit here for the rest of my life pigging out on junk food and tea.

so basically this is a message to all the people who are losing themselves right now: be normal, stop fucking up, and realise i love you, and we need to all buck our ideas up if we're going to get through the next year happy. so stop wallowing in your own self pity, grow some hefty balls AND MAN THE FUCK UP!


p.s i don't like your blog

Monday, 7 June 2010


i'm going to find something to fulfill my life and that be not a blog, sozza guys. deleted my tumblr too. BYEEEEEEEE

Sunday, 6 June 2010

when is anything ever enough

if we talk in circles it will be around the almost truth

if we talk anymore we will have worn out our tongues

if we die tonight we would die in peace

or would it just be a truce from that war you're always fighting?

it'll never be resolved. i will never love you back.

but if we pretend that we love each other the same amount

and if we pretend that the past doesn't matter

and we pretend you're a good person

if we can go on with our lives being okay with pretending

that's enough, right?