to hold such irrelevance is such a big part of my life it's harrowing. i carry a lot of different names, the scapegoat, the beaver, the arrogant, the skank, but the irrelevant - i just don't like that word.
i have sat here trying to think of something decent to write and i've come up with nothing. i looked at all my past scrambles and they're empty now. i fear that i have lost my talents because i can't put any meaning to any of it anymore. i've climbed my Everest's and what do i have to show for it? a smile? what do i have to seek attention from now? why is it that now i'm happy i feel boring? i feel lost now, i don't like this. i'm going to go tidy my room.
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