What happens when you realise something you want, that will quite simply ruin all of your plans?
Because really, I'm completey stuck now.
"A recent friend of mine I met in hospital buys paper-back books and tears out each page as he finishes reading it, so that when he next opens the book he will always be on the right page. Seems to me my life is a lot like that. And no matter how much I might want to revisit a past page, a previous chapter, to re-read it, to re-write it, I can't. It's dead and gone. And now my book has so few pages ahead and a yawning gap behind. So many things I would say, so many things I wouldn't say. So many things I would do differently. And so many of them revolve around you..."