Dear Mr Anon

"This is going to sound like a pretty random comment but hey, such is life. I stumbled across your page a while ago and the way you think has captivated me. I can see that you have a complex and interesting mind, on top of which you have your beauty. The question that I cant understand is how are you single? On which note I must also ask (if it isnt too personal) what do you look for in a guy? What would be your ideal guy?"

This comment I loved, so I'm going to take great care in answering it. So much care infact it's a blog post - feel special.

Okay so first question: Why am I single?
Because I destroy every relationship I have, and also hold a reputation which puts other guys off of me. Simple enough, really.

What do I look for in a guy?
This is a hard one. A good taste in music, I like to have someone I can talk to about stuff like that. But I don't want them to have such an intense knowledge about everything - I don't like to feeling inadquete to someone. I'd like them to be attractive, but not in an obvious way. Good personal hygiene I would prefer, even if it's not returned on my part. A nice bit of muscle but not obsessive amounts. Is an absolute charmer, I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. Will put me in my place when the time calls for it, but doesn't belittle or patronize me. Is good in alien social situations, making a good impression on my family is an absolute must. Also, if he doesn't laugh at my jokes he's definitely out. Someone who loves me just as much as I do them. I don't want people to love me more, that's when it doesn't work.

What would be my ideal guy?
Someone interesting but normal and lovely and attractive and has nice hugs. I actually don't know yet if I'm totally honest.


But all in all, I loved that comment. It really made my day. So thank you.

WAAAOHHH

Oh my days I have cleaned the downstairs of this house and I quite frankly feel like a domestic goddess. Right now I have a pile of papers across the room from me staring me out as it knows I have to waft through it soon and do this thing called revision. I had a lovely night last night, it involved running around my kitchen table, all entirely sober, singing to Shaina Twain and Wham. It was fantastic. And Mummy March, Jezza and I took refuge in your bed. I hope you don't mind too much. This is a completely pointless blog post, well, all of them are pretty pointless really. What do I get out of writing to the Internet? Sore fingers and watery eyes mostly. Anywho, I can hear a bar of chocolate yearning for my lips as well as a cigarette.

Both of which are more important than you. Maybe.

P.S I just laughed for a good 10 minutes at this:

care less.

i am posting this on my blog as i would like unbaised opinions and i need to know if i'm just being a git here. i apologize for the public enormity of this in advance, but it's late and my brain is at it's busiest.


kay if say i'm worried about someone, but they're totally not in a place to see that they're potentially fucking up big time. and it's not really my place to say anything now, how do i tell them that they're going somewhere i really don't want them to go? without them getting defensive, running away from the issue and disliking me for bringing it up, especially when i've pushed away help from them before.

but it's not really serious the issue

but it could turn that way

and i really don't agree with what they're doing at all, and they could end up losing me, and a hell of a lot of others if they carry on, and im not in a position to say anything because i've done the same things, so it just sounds entirely hypocritical.

what. do. i. do?

have i told you i ache for you?

the gate that i shut, last time i got hurt, seems to have opened itself.

And 66 songs later.

I've just downloaded Slow Club's album, and I've decided I want everyone to learn all the lyrics to this song and we're going to play it at the next party.

i don't know what i want. that's the problem i've decided. and i'm willing to hurt anyone on my way to finding what it is that i want. i tell myself i don't believe in love, but then i look at happy couples and definitely wish i was them. i also tell myself that i want to be an actress, but i really don't think i have any where near enough talent to get far at all. i'm going to fail all my AS's, that's a given. uhhhh i just wish i didn't have to make things so complicated for myself.

i am in such a weird mood tonight, i'm going to put this song on repeat and lay on my floor. film studies can wait.

Film me.

I have fallen in love. With a film, that is. But it's the closest I'll ever get to love so I'll take it. So I've decided to make a blog recommending my top five favourite films, and I would like you (whoever you are) to watch them because they've completely changed my life as ridiculous as that sounds. Basically, if I have experiences that are even close to the ones in these films then my life would be entirely worth it. You will be able to find them all on www.tvshack.net .Okay, so here it goes.

1. Dead Poets Society: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvt5pxrofS4
A film about and english teacher entirely inspiring his students, and possibly one of the greatest films Robin Williams has ever done. It made me want to study English for the rest of my life basically.

2. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G69Zh7YIg8c
One of the most beautiful films I have ever watched. Period.

3. Unmade Beds: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1iM5XcOwQ
A story about two people living in the same house but only meeting once. It made me fall in love with love again.

4. Good Will Hunting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z02M3NRtkAA
Most of you will have already seen this, but it's so incredibly sad but so amazing at the same time. Again another fantastic performance by Robin Williams. Why aren't we related?!

5. History Boys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45OsKkHhv90
I'm going to let the trailer speak for itself.